Nooooooooo!

Keanu Reeves to be Sinbad the Sailor in upcoming movie

"Matrix" movie star Keanu Reeves has signed on to be Sinbad the Sailor, the legendary character from 'The Arabian Nights' in an upcoming movie set in eighth-century China.

China? What, we can't have an Arabic hero?

At least he's not in one of the Beowulf movies. Sinbad already has a storied history of cinematic suckiness.

I suppose it could be worse. He could be Popeye the Sailor.

"Whoa! Spinach."